Billie Eilish has had a transformative year. From launching her own perfume brand to dying her infamous green hair blonde and debuting a sexier, elevated style, there’s no denying the Grammy-winner has stepped into a new era of her career.
While these changes may have seemed like an intentional rebrand, Billie insists her transformation came about organically as she worked on her mental health.
Sitting down with Vanity Fair in her fifth annual video interview, the singer opens up about her struggles with anxiety and self-acceptance, particularly throughout 2020, that kept her closed off from the world.
When asked to watch her interview from last year and reflect on those answers, Billie says she was going through an “identity crisis”.
“That girl was going through an identity crisis. Oh my gosh. You can see it in my eyes,” she says of her 2020 response to being asked, ‘How often do you get recognised in public?’ At the time, the young artist told Vanity Fair she had not gone out in public for months.
“My attitude used to be, ‘Well, I can’t go out.’ You know, ‘I can’t go here. I can’t go there.’ I used to just like, not even be able to like go to a park or like go get food or get coffee,” she explains. “In the last year, I have been opened up to it.”
Billie goes on to say she is “grateful” that she can now feel “confident” going out in public without trying to hide behind disguises and clothes. She reveals that part of that struggle was related to her “pride” as she never wanted to be seen without looking like the Billie Eilish the public has come to know and expect.
“I was like, ‘I only want to be seen if I look like myself.’ So I would never wear anything normal,” she says. “It’s gotten a lot easier.”
Since her swift rise to fame just a few years ago, Billie has received intense scrutiny for how she dresses. The 19-year-old has acknowledged that she chooses to wear oversized clothing so that the focus stays on her music rather than her body.
She has also spoken openly about her struggles with body image over the years. In an interview with Gayle King, Billie explained that dressing in baggy clothing has actually helped with her self-esteem. “Me and my body’s relationship has been the most toxic relationship you could even imagine,” she said. “The way that I dress has made that relationship so much better.”
These conversations were further highlighted back in 2020 when the singer faced a barrage of body-shaming on Twitter after she was photographed in a form-fitting tank top.
Though Billie’s style has slowly evolved over the course of this year, her message remains as powerful as ever.